Pajama, Pajama!!!

What I am about to tell you is something that made me laugh so hard but also made me stop to think back at situations I've been in over the past few years and shake my head at myself. It has a funny twist to it though so if you're not laughing then it’s probably because you know you have been in that similar situation or are in it right now but honestly forget it, move and learn from your mistakes.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but you should know that my pastor is a very funny man. As anointed as he is, the way he preaches about issues that most young people deal with is pretty amazing. I mean he's young and relatable but there is a way he can talk about an issue and make you think about it from the depth of your soul. Almost everything I'm going to say about this pajamas issue I heard in church today and I honestly just wanted to share with you because I know it will bless you.

So most people have pajamas, if not the traditional one that comes as a two piece, you have something cute, something pretty or some of us have those big shirts that someone gave you at a party and you would not be caught in outside your house or rather old clothes that have now been turned into sleeping wear. The point is no one wears their pajamas out right? I mean no matter how cute it is, it’s what you wear at home because it lets you be free to do what you want, it’s comfortable, and most times the reason you don’t wear it out is not because of what it looks like but because its purpose is to be worn at home. Now look at the above descriptions, do you see that Pajamas and “friends”/ side chick have similar characteristics. “Friends” refer to those friendships that have comma; you just know something isn’t right.

There are just some situations that we ladies get ourselves into that qualifies us for pajamas status. If a guy tells you let us keep this relationship between us then please please please know that it is about to become a fishy situation. Except he is a wanted man and the FBI, CIA and the whole of America  is looking for him, so you telling anyone might compromise him in which case, you should be packing your load and running far away from him, then know that you’re slowing aiming for pajamas land. Most popular line used is “It's not that I don’t want people to know, it’s just that I don’t want people in my business. Now why is it a bad thing for people to be in your business if they will be happy for you, abi when people get a new job, don’t they go around telling people. Everyone wants people to share in their happiness so if he’s not sharing you as a source of happiness then you know what it is. Like how can a guy tell you not to tell your friends you’re seeing each other though? You should at least tell your friends and those people who are important to you and make sure he is doing the same as well. Don’t get me wrong, I'm not saying to tell EVERYONE though, I mean honestly I think most people are sick of seeing certain people's relationship changes on their facebook newsfeed because today it is complicated, tomorrow it is single and so on. Now if you can't decide what status your relationship is, that's your business and we pray you figure it out but honestly please stop entertaining us. Notice that you only wear your pajamas at home, you don't go around showing off your pajamas to anyone and so do men, they keep their “friends/side chicks at home. You don’t go places together and even if you’re going to the movies, it’s either a theater that is far from his house or it’ll be the 2pm showing because no one will be there and no one wants to be seen in their pajamas.

One thing I have never understood is why people are afraid to have “The Talk”. What is wrong with asking what you are now and where you’re going? If there is no definition to your relationship and all you do is cook and watch movies at his or your house, then kai your pajamas status is wayyy high in the sky. Add the fact that you might be having sex smh; just bring yourself back to earth. If you ask the “What are we” question and you get “You know, we are cool and everything, good friends” please nod, smile and know that that’s what you’ll always be, friends.  I mean when you come to the understanding that you’re a pajamas I’ll assume that you will what? Pack your load and go. There has to be a definition, if you’re just friends then be friends, in fact Google what a new friend is and act accordingly. What people don’t realize is that there are different levels of friendship. Think about it, if you have a best friend the things you could do for your bff after knowing them for a year is totally different from what you did when you’d only known them a month so why would you be deceived into thinking you’re just friends with someone who constantly needs your attention, body and emotions only to throw it back in your face and say “I thought we talked about it and we understood we were just friends. And something most people don’t admit is that it is hard being friends with someone you’re emotionally attached to and there is nothing wrong with saying no I don’t want to be your friend, at least I don’t think so.

I think most people have been in this situation, maybe even more than once or know someone who has. It is time to stop being a pajamas and start being someone’s Christmas dress.  Do you know how special someone’s Christmas dress/outfit is to them or maybe even the dress they plan on wearing on their birthday? They want to look the best, outshine everyone with that one dress so why not aim for that instead of the mere pajamas that gets tossed in the drawer and not hung with a plastic bag to protect it. Everyone has potential to be a pajamas, I mean the cutest most successful girl can be someone’s side chick so don’t think something about you sets you apart, just be discerning enough where if there ever was a chance that you’re about to be one you can easily remove yourself before it happens. The moral lesson here is stop being someone’s pajamas, start being someone’s Christmas dress.

Be blessed. :)

Cinderella, Cinderella, All I hear is Cinderella!

So I believe everyone has watched or heard of the Cinderella story, if you haven’t I’d have to question your childhood but that’s another story for another day.  Anyways I believe most women, including me, have dreamt about prince charming coming to sweep them off their feet right? I mean it sounds oh so romantic and yes prince charming ideally should look like Ryan Gosling, 6”2 with 4 packs minimum, perfect teeth or whatever your preference is. You’d be surprised how everyone’s preference is different, I am sure someone is reading this with a stank face thinking Ryan Gosling is not even fine but to each his own. But did anyone notice that prince charming was also VERY rich whereby Cinderella didn’t have to work another day in her life? Lol how funny is that right? But apparently some women still have this mentality. Well not exactly the same thing but what do you call a woman who might be earning 10 dollars and hour but is actively looking for a guy with a corporate job, earning nothing less than $90,000 a year even though her full time salary doesn’t even put her in the above $20,000 tax bracket. The list doesn’t end there oh, he must live in a certain part of town, drive some sort of car, 2009 and above of course, I mean the list goes on.

The bible says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” So whatever happened to being that good thing or rather person instead of being a burden? And I use wife here because I sure hope if you’re dating someone, it’s because you expect a long term commitment from them which in my mind equals marriage. Let’s even forget about the financials for a second, how do you want a guy who has a 6 pack when the last time you went to the gym was that one time your friend dragged you and you don’t even remember what year that was. I’m not even going to front and say I didn’t think like that, and I am a college student who’s not currently working so I think I’m even worse off.

Someone said this to me earlier this year... Be the person you want to be with... Be just as successful, be just as hardworking, driven, you want a guy with a six pack, get your butt in the gym. You want someone who sticks up for you no matter what, then don’t be the woman who embarrasses him all the time. You want someone who’ll open car doors, take out the trash, change your tire then cook. You want someone who you can engage in intellectual conversations, then read current news not mediatakeout only, entertainment news is not the only type of news there is.  I mean whatever is important for you to have in your partner then you should at LEAST be those things.

Just a random thought I wanted to share.

J

Who's fronting here?

Yipeee I turned 23, October 30, this past Sunday and boy am I happy. The changes in my life from just 22 to 23 have been amazing. I am older, wiser and definitely better. I don't even feel older, I am still young at heart. :p

The only problem is, as I saw 23 as a great thing, most people saw it as an opportunity to lecture me on the importance of settling down and how I'm getting older. What?? Like please when did 23 become the age to start putting pressure on someone to marry? I thought 26 was the cut off age. I'm thinking to myself what the heck are you talking about. Even if I was 26, you're not my close friend, not necessarily a person who should be advising me on anything, you're just a person who our conversations are limited to twice a year, on my birthday and yours, so what right do you have to be asking me personal questions and demanding answers. Someone even told me that I should have been in a one year relationship now, so by 24 he would propose and by 25 I would be married. Like where do these people get these stupendous theories from? who comes up with them? I have been keeping my calm and trying to be as respectful as possible, sometimes even just play it off like its funny but really, it is very annoying. 

I have come to realize that its hard to explain to most people that you're not in a place where you're ready to be in a relationship. It's like a blasphemy of some sort, like as a woman you're supposed to jump at every relationship opportunity presented to you because you don't want to be 23 and single. I mean what is wrong with NOT wanting a boyfriend? It's not just the time for me or is that such a bad reason or i'm not being reasonable about it? It's not because I have too high standards, it's not because i'm playing hard to get, it's not  because I have horror stories of my heart been crushed, damaged and destroyed by many men, the only reason is that I am just not ready for a relationship. I mean yes, a few guys have done some horrible things directly to me and even other people's experiences are crazy to think about but still doesn't mean I have completely put off the idea of falling in love and finding that one person to share my life with but for now I just don't want to have to deal with it. Can I enjoy my single unattached life and concentrate on myself without having to worry about some guy. Since when did that become a crime. Do most people not realize that a relationship takes a certain level of maturity, understanding and commitment? You have to be mentally prepared to share your life with someone. You become accountable to someone and you have to incorporate this person into your life.

I started thinking maybe its also because I am not ready for the type of relationship I want. I am not trying to get into some shallow relationship because the guy is cute and has a nice car so lets see where it leads. Don't I have a car abi am I not cute too? abeg all those things are good but it goes deeper than that. I don't want to enter a relationship just because and then realize after a yr that it was a bad idea and I would have wasted an entire yr of my life to no avail. 

As if my family asking me all these questions is not enough, some guys have come to the conclusion that it's a fronting strategy or that I am playing "harder" to get because I think it makes guys want me more.. Like what kind of silly analysis is that? Are you a retard? Firstly I am already wanted, very wanted. Add the fact that I am now a very saved christian, many guys who are ready to settle down think I am wifey material so getting a guy is not the problem, I certainly have a few options to consider if I did want to be in a relationship but as I don't want, how is it every ones personal problem to analyze my reasons or motives. 

People just need to learn to mind their business, if its not removing money from your bank account or killing you please keep your mouth shut and move on. Even when I get into a relationship, trust me if you're not important you wont know so why make it your headache when it is not your business.. 

I shall not be discussing this further with anyone so hopefully most people got the message. :)

Stay blessed. 

Love Is.

Taking my heart back

By Mia Harris:

I took my heart today

I took my heart back to its Maker

told Him is was broken after one use

and I needed a new one

I had to take it back

because I

gave it to a little boy

that layed it down gently

covered it with white dinner napkin sized lies

as he crushed it with his heel, yelling Mazel Tov!

Lesson learned but soon forgotten

I gave

brand new heart to boy posing as a man

Naively convinced it was gaurded

his smooth words quickly unraveled my paper thin covering

Falling..

I fell

head first to the ground

I took my heart back today

And I left it in the nail wounded hands of my Savior

whose percious blood pumps 2 Corinthians 13 through my aorta

and into the veins of my misused limbs

I left my heart there today

Ask Him to never give it back

but rather to exchange it, in due time, for a heart that beats like mine

Fashioned with bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh

Let my Healer place my heart in the hands of my Adam

May my Adam present it as an offering back to my Father

never to be broken again…

If you like what you just read, Share with others, you would be surprised how many people this would bless. 

Summer things 2.

Summer is definitely over. :(  I started classes today and as much as new classes excite me, I've not really  gotten myself out of the summer laziness. Even though classes started, the fact that Chicago's weather now suddenly requires me to wear a sweater when I leave my house is not very pleasant at all. Anyways I promised a bunch of more pictures so here are a lot of pictures, a few stories and hopefully they'll remove that frown from your faces and make you smile a little. 

Gosh, so the whole summer Tomi wanted to go to Dave and Busters and I promise you if you had never been there before, you would think they handed out 100 dollar bills there or something. So we finally decided to go after much convincing from Tomi. We sha had the eat and play combo but unfortunately for Tomi, after eating, yaaa that was that. We were too tired to play any games so we just went home. Tomi was not pleased. 

tt

So we had this really busy day. I mean, I had 4 places that I had to be at between 2 and 10 and I only even made it to 4. My church had a picnic, then a wedding with a friend, one graduation party and another friends picnic. Unfortunately for you guys, there are no pictures from all these events, why you ask. Well I'm not so sure but the only picture that came out of that day was the one with this beautiful lady Dami and I met at the wedding. Like she was so pretty, well put together with her gele and to match shoe and bag so we just had to take a picture. She also introduced us to her hot son btw hehe. 

So my friend Moyo own this online magazine (http://www.edenlifemag.com/) <-- You should check it out and he also does some volunteer work in Chicago and some other stuff. Well we did some volunteer work at a shelter in Chicago, cooked, fed and prayed with them of course. I mean prayer is the best gift you can give anyone. Here are some photos.

Everyone with some of the people from the shelter. 

Simi, Tomi and Ruth

From L to R: Ruth, Moyo, Ife, Wale, Moi and Toyosi

I was at a "I love my natural hair" phase. Gosh my sister was so upset at me. It took me like an hour to get ready and another 45 minutes to find something to do to my hair. Ya they literally begged me to get a weave back in my head... 

Au natural. 

And a week and half later, I was back to the bob and Jummy showed me what eyeliner can do to my eyes. I fell in love :D 

Next was this wedding Jummy and I attended, It was a Friday or Saturday evening, no solid plans and Jummy had invited me for a wedding earlier that week so Friday came around and my braids were new so wedding it was. Of which Yabo and Tomi totally hooked me up on my braids, saved me $150 i would have had to pay a professional. 

Hot braids, simple makeup and my camera was messed up and that's where the blur came from. 

Yea one of bukky's random picture taking sprees again. 

 So bukky sends me a picture at 3 am in the morning, a picture of me from my birthday last year and she gets upset and calls me to insult me because I did not acknowledge the fact that I got the picture. At 3am guy, 3am.. Ya I know some crazy people but It is a beautiful picture though.

Photo-shopped by Bukky Fajs

Then dinner with the girls cos Tomi was leaving to move back to Nigeria :(

Tomi and I before we headed out

And my baby Nathan came to visit. Yes the little baby who's picture I posted in my last blog is now a big baby 2 months later.

Finally to end  the summer with a blast, one last picnic on labor day. sob sob. 

Teju and I

Me, Simi, Rhoda, Teju and Yabo

Jummy, Simi, Teju and Yabo

Awon hot babes

Im not sure what Simi was doing but ahem ya

I had a great summer, didn't travel anywhere, stayed in Chicago, went to summer school but I have great friends and my summer was the best ever. I do wish my other friends like the Seyi's were here with me but oh well, we have many more summers to come. :D

Summer things.

Sigh, for many of you summer ended two weeks ago but one of the perks of being in a trimester school is that we go back to school after labor day. Yipee Anyways since I have the sexy Iphone 4 which takes gorgeous pictures. I've decided to share some of my favorite pictures from the summer. Pictures I took, and pictures I came across and you'll get to see some of my favorite people. :D There are like soo many pictures because when you have friends like mine, there's too much fun out there to have so I split the post up into two.. I'll post the second and or third part tomorrow. Enjoy!!

I started the summer with my bob. It was one of those random days, headed downtown and had some cool fun (In the words on Vic O.) 

Bukky and I... Check out the pout

Also on the same day I came across the glasses I have on in the next picture... I absolutely fell in love and it cost me $5.95 from H&M. A cheap price for the simple pleasures of life. 

Church was also a big part of my summer, and It was soooo much fun. If I haven’t said this before, either via twitter, Facebook or wherever... I LOVE MY CHURCH. The people, environment and just the messages that are preached have helped me so much in understanding God and the Holy Spirit and so much more. Sha here's a picture of Jummy and I fooling around in church. 

Moved on from the bob to a pony tail, this lasted for a week and a half. My sister was not pleased at all. She feels I take advantage of her :( because I get my hair done for free. But you should know, she does a bad ass job on any head that sits on her chair lol. Yabo in case you don't know this is free advertisement :)

One week later.... 

On the same day.. Yabo acting goofy and Jummy in the back.

Several Pictures from Dami and Tomi's graduation. 

Between, Bukky is in love with her blackberry and probably would never get an IPhone but she constantly takes pictures on my phone. At least her actions say that the IPhone is a better phone even though she won't admit it. :p

Then my baby made a boo boo :( 

but got fixed :D

It's ok to wish you were related to us btw.. It really is. hehe

The one time I actually wore a bikini the entire summer.. 

Some Birthday party sha but these pictures of Bukky and Tomi are absolutely gorgeous. Taken with the Iphone of course

Jenny baby visited all the way from Ghana

Baby Nathan was born... I loveeeee this baby like I can't wait to be a part of his life and take him to soccer games and stuff.. I hope he approves of me putting this picture up on the web in the future sha. 

Ill end with a picture and a story lol.. Classy eh?

So I was downtown with Yabo, Bukky, Jummy, Tomi and maybe someone else who's name skips my mind right now and I saw this dress in forever 21. I loved it but not like loved it ohhh I want to wear it somewhere kinda loved it you get?.. Like you know how you love something but just cos it’s in the store not because you have a vision of where you'd like to wear it to.. Well I loved this dress so much, I didn’t want to leave it but I also didn’t want to buy it so I decided to take a picture in it hoping it would increase my love for it.. It didn’t, so I left it.. :( 

One of my friends also can't stop calling the dress a nightgown.. Yes he used the word night gown to describe the dress smh.. The people I know...

I hope you enjoyed the pictures… More to come!!!

Say NO to 419.

I should start by saying that if you are a Nigerian and you were raised in Nigeria, under no circumstance should anyone, I mean ANYONE, be able to scam you and get away with it. The funniest thing happened today and by today I mean between 11:04 and 11:17am. Shortest, most priceless moment of my life.

         So for the past month or so, my sister has been convincing herself that she really needs an Ipad or maybe she was convincing me cos I told her she didn't need one right now. 

         To cut the long story short she found a guy called Jesse on craigslist who was going to sell her one for $350 but said if she wanted more than one, he would be willing to negotiate the price with her because he won it playing poker with rich college students and he just wanted to make some quick cash off them. Fine right, I mean employees steal from all these electronic companies and try to sell the products for whatever price and honestly I didn't believe his stupid story, we just wanted Ipads.(We because by this time I had excited myself and was slowly beginning to convince myself that maybe I needed one too :D)

Anyways we negotiated with him and he agreed to sell us two for $600. We were too excited and 20 minutes after this my 2 other friends had joined in the deal and we were supposed to get 4 Ipads for 1100. Yes this deal sounds shady and we should have just backed out but whatever it was , kept me believing that this guy was just trying to sell the Ipads and who cares where he got it from.  After discussing and discussing, we decided to let it deal just sit on the table for about a day and I guess think about it but mehnnnnnn the thought of getting an Ipad for 1/3 of the price was too good to be true. All this while, it was just adrenalin that was flowing to the brain that was functioning but when the actual time came to go and withdraw cash omo we sharpened up quick quick lol. 

          Ok let me tell you the terms of the deal. He sends the Ipads, we send the money but keep the MTCN code until we receive the package and then we give it to him so he can collect the money <---Those were his terms but the mumu didn't know that we sef we use western union often and a friend told us he can collect the money with just his Id in some places so all that na bunz. 

Our own terms which he didn't know about. He sends the Ipads, we don't send the money. Once we receive the package and only if we receive Ipads do we send him his money. I mean common we are children of God, we don't steal.

So the day after we had agreed on a price, Monday, after sleeping over it and thinking excessively about it. I told him, well through my sister's email, that he should overnight the package, with a receipt and he will get the difference from what he would have paid to send it ground shipping. He goes on and on about not having the money and it was too expensive blah blah blah. 

So we send the money. What? You're shocked? Yes we sent the money from Iyabo Olowo to Moriam Olowo and he of course thinks that the money is ready to be received under his name and sends like oh I'm glad to have worked with you and a lot more BS you would expect from a suck up.

Well, This is what we received. 

Its a Dell Inspiron 1200. Humor yourself and google what year this computer was produced lol. 

So sha between 11:04 which is when I opened the package and 11:17am I literally just laughed and laughed, called my sister laughed some more and yea that was all we did. So after the whole laughing which lasted for only 13 minutes but whoa did it feel good he emailed my sister saying "I'm sorry we could not trust each other, pls send the laptop back to me" I'm guessing he tracked the package and saw it was delivered. 

This was the email I sent to him.

"So I got the "Ipads" and I honestly laughed. Who would have believed that you were lying all this while and all your anxiousness was just a way to scam me. Well I thank God for opening my eyes to see what your intentions were and coming out a winner :p. I thought about what to say to you and honestly all I had to read was Matthew 6:14 which says "For if you forgive people their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up resentment], your heavenly Father will also forgive you."and I completely forgive you of your sin and trespasses. For you, I think you should meditate on this scripture from the bible "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  (1 John 1:9)  because what you were planning to do was to steal from me and that is no no in the kingdom of God.

If you want your laptop back, you should be prepared to send me the $100 I lost from trying to send the payment to you in the first place and the money for shipping the laptop back to you.
 #Note: If you don't reply me to let me know if you want me to send it or not by the end of today, I am going to trash it.
Peace and hopefully you confess your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior if not you are going to HELL."

Hey, in my defense, I am helping him realize his mistake so he can be forgiven and still have a shot at going to heaven. :D

I'm a chicken.

I am sitting here shaking my head at myself right now.

I am a chicken.

I am a chicken.

I am a chicken.

I am a chicken.

I am a chicken.

I had to write that 5 times because it’s the truth. I’ll tell you how my week played out, well the experiment aspect of it not the whole thing nosy :p

          At the time of my last post there were 3 guys who were emailing me right but one just suddenly stopped and I kind of wondered why? Like dude I’m a catch so what is your problem (It stung a little as you can see lol). Anyways, a little information about Match 1 and Match 2.

Both of them have these same stats: 23, Caucasian, never married, no kids, Christian, some other good qualities and they are 6’4 and 6’1 respectively, like 6ft 4 inches. There aren’t that many cute tall dudes who are available anymore and I was like hmmm. So the conversation with match 1 started out with him emailing me and we talked about movies and gradually into talking about favorite spots and where we could hang out and regular stuff right and he honestly seemed cool. Match 2 I emailed first. So I have to say this, my 2 lines that I sent to this guy took me like 35 minutes to compose. Like what do you say to someone you have never met, no common ground nothing at all. It was just a pain in the ass and the email I got from match.com specifically said not to just say hey/hi or say something like you’re cute. You’re supposed to say something catchy enough to make them want to reply you. I would love to wait for guys to email me first but I had to step up my matching game. This subscription is for ONE month only, nothing more nothing less and if it doesn’t work out oh well.

        Let me tell you why I admit to being a chicken. I was supposed to hang out with Match 1 this Saturday right. I had said I would think about it when I emailed him last which was on Thursday of last week and had every intention of going. As Saturday drew nearer I started to think about all the scary movies that involved someone getting kidnapped I had ever seen and I started to get paranoid. Like what if this dude turned out to be a creep of something even worse? Anyways but Thursday night I had convinced myself that he didn’t seem like the type but by Saturday morning the paranoia was back I was busy early Saturday and by this time since I hadn’t confirmed if I would be able to make it or not, I just emailed him to say I had something I couldn’t get out of and we should plan for next weekend. I’m not sure why I did that but pls abeg if I get kidnapped, amongst other things that would go wrong I would never be able to finish up this experiment. It would be devastating right. So come next date I shall be well prepared and ready to do this.

Mr. Match 2 wants to hang out but since we bonded over Zumba he has suggested we go to a class together. I don’t know about that one oh I mean common first time meeting someone and it’s to go and sweat profusely over weird looking dances. I say weird because the instructors always look sexy when doing it but you as a student have a hard time keeping up and getting the steps. So not only would I look like a weist, I would also be sweating like a Christmas goat… Nuh uh

          There are several other guys who send occasional winks. This one boy was 19, like gosh my age is clearly displayed and this particular boy look like he could be 15 with his slow growth of a beard. Smh

It’s just beginning forreal guys… keep reading and I’ll keep entertaining you ;)