From a Grey's Anatomy fan with love.

I think I am done with Greys Anatomy, I mean why must Shonda Rhimes continue to horse around with my feelings and emotions. Every Thursday at 8pm, I find myself experiencing everything from love for Meredith and Derek, lust for Jackson Avery and on and off happiness for Owen and Christina. Then add the funny interns and the occasional dramatic tension I am up to 6 different emotions in one hour already. I am done with her.

I got into Greys Anatomy in 2009 summer because I was working full time and I needed something to concentrate on outside of how tired I was all the time. I watched 5 seasons in a month so trust me when I say Shonda has messed me up, I am telling the absolute truth. I don't think I have every cried so much in such a short period. Everything seemed unfair and I felt like it was happening to everyone around me when in fact it's all fictional. Since when season 6 started in September, I have not been able to stop watching, I cry, I laugh, talk about all the things I want to do to McSteamy then cry some more.
I remember season 6 was too crazy for me, having to wait a week sometimes 2 for the next episode was always difficult.  Just the wait of about a month of trying to see if George and Izzie survived the end of season 5 was hectic enough. Season 6 however brought the introduction of Jackson Avery, Lord Jesus it’s a fire, that man is a beautiful creation. And then Derek has that tumor, Owen strangles Christina and Mark told Lexie he loved her and then there was that shooting by that crazy man. Oh Lord!! See just thinking about it is even a rollercoaster on its own.
I still cannot believe Lexie and Mark died, I would have been ok with Arizona dying but WHY Mark and Lexie who were just at the brink of getting back together. Why them and why then? DO you see what I am saying; now I am angry at her again.
Hey but at least Meredith got her baby, Callie also got a baby and is with Arizona but now the baby daddy is dead, jackson is sleeping with some silly intern and now the hospital is shutting down with the potential of ruining Owen and Christina's relationship once again. I just cannot with this show. One minute I am happy, the next It seems everything is going wrong.

Now she created Scandal, How can she make something so wrong feel so right, I mean I know feelings can be deceitful but what the actual hell? White President of the United States with a black mistress, where they do that at? I am not even going to get into how agitated and excited I get when watching Scandal but All I know is that I am done. NO MORE!!!



I know I will tune in tomorrow to see what happened with the acquisition of the hospital and hopefully Avery decides he wants to run it so I can continue to watch his sexy behind be the boss. A man who’s in charge is a man after my heart.

What love?

I am once again on another flight back home. I have been so exhausted these past couple of months from having to travel every weekend and I was all too familiar with all the airport/airplane rules and safety guides. Once I hopped into my seat, I must have dozed off immediately because the next thing I remember happening was the flight attendant thanking us for flying American airlines since we had just landed. I open my eyes properly to start gathering my stuff and turn to look around and I see this guy just looking at me. I fake a smile and look away and respond to the text from my friend who was picking me up.

Lolade called me 2 days after that plane ride and we have been inseparable. He was the perfect man for me; he understood me and was everything I wanted in a man.

6 months after we met and 4 months after we had been in an official relationship, I found out I was pregnant and I was ecstatic. I was going to be having a child for the love of my life and we were getting married anyways so why not start early. My mother won’t be happy but she loves him as well so she’d eventually come around.

I told Lolade that I was pregnant and he was so happy, how could he not be? What was there to not be happy about? He said “I cannot wait for you to give birth to our beautiful baby”. I was happier, this was a dream come true.

“I lost my job babe” this was Lolade; he got fired from work because they were downsizing. This is what he told me, he was devastated and I was sad to see my love in this state. “We can’t have a baby when I don’t have an income” he pleaded. “Please let’s abort it, I want to take care of you and my child, not the other way around. Please shola understand what I am saying” I aborted the baby.

2 months later, I get pregnant again; he has a job now so there’s nothing to worry about. “Who were you talking to at the party last night” last thing I heard before I woke up in the pool of my own blood in pain. He had beaten me last night, I don’t remember why but it was the first time it had happened. I just won’t talk to guys any more so I don’t upset him anymore. But once again, another pregnancy gone.

Third pregnancy, why am I stupid enough to make these mistakes. He won’t use a condom and I allow it. “We can’t have a baby now; you have to understand where I’m coming from.”                                                                              “No, I am not aborting this baby and I will not understand this time.” I had never raised my voice but I was not going to abort this child and that was it. He left obviously because he was angry and I did not follow him, he always comes back calmer.  He loves me so maybe when the baby is born he will come around.

That conversation was the last conversation I had with Lolade. My baby just celebrated her 5^th birthday yesterday.

Not a Groupie

I was just standing there on the side lines waiting for the actual doors to open up for this so called concert Bisola dragged me to. I was never into Nigerian music too much, just the occasional popular ones that everyone tweets about. Every now and then, I get curious enough to google the current slangs and it almost always ends up being from a Nigerian song. Anyways my cousin Bisola was a huge fan of this up and coming artist who was coming to Houston for a concert and she had been begging me to come with her for the past 2 weeks. I finally budged and said yes last weekend, little did I know that my yes came with a lot of conditions. She wanted to dress me, fix up my hair and makeup because apparently people dress up to concerts just like they would if they were going clubbing. It didn’t make sense to me because I would have worn something much more comfortable; but I just let her have her way mostly because I knew it was a fight I wasn’t going to win.

We get to the concert and we had to wait for like an hour for this so called artist to arrive because they were not going to open the doors until he got there. I was happy that the concert might start on time because I had heard that Nigerian artists were very unprofessional when it comes to time. We are standing in the front of the crowd because obviously Bisola made us get there very early. A black Suv pulls up and the screaming begins and I am just rolling my eyes because this is just groupie behavior, add to the fact that my heels are hurting my legs from standing; I honestly just want to get in and sit. He comes out of the car and I just want to get a look at him, see what all the fuss is about, I mean how does someone whose real name is Shayo Aderoju name himself Stilt. Like where did he come up with such a name? He hops out of the van and he is wearing sunglasses just like every stupid male artist does. I’m not so sure who made it cool to wear sunglasses in the night but that person needs to be hung with masking tape from Kilimanjaro Mountain.

He starts walking towards the door and all I hear is screaming and just basically just noise.  He’s signing autographs and posing to take pictures and I am just getting impatient. A walk from the car that should have taken about 45 seconds ended up taking like 5 minutes because this so called artist wants to relate to his fans and all this while I am just getting more and more annoyed. He takes off his glasses for more pictures and I am looking at him, because there is obviously nothing else to do and he catches my eye. I quickly look away because I was caught off guard and I look up and he is walking towards me.

“You should give me your number” he whispers to me. I look at Bisola and she looks like she just missed the rapture, like that confused look when something is happening, you don’t understand it but you don’t believe it as well

“That’s not very polite now is it” I hear myself say. It’s not like I am not shocked, No celebrity has ever asked me for my number but I am not flattered either because it could have been any girl and I am certain he’s just looking for groupie for his short stay.

“Please can I have your number? What’s your name?”

“Fife and no, sorry I’d rather not give you my number. I’m not really the groupie type” I smile but it’s one of these smiles you get right before someone shoots you in the head.

He just stares at me and was about to speak when oversabi Bisola says “6-4-6-5-3-2-6-8-9-1, that’s her number”

As I am about to start yelling at Bisola while praying at the same time that he doesn’t remember the number she just spat out, I hear him say “I want her to give it to me if she wants to” he looks at Bisola while speaking to her and then looks back at me

Bisola nudges me and gave me that you better give him your number or I will kill you and feed you to dogs look.

“Fine my number is 6465326891”

“Thanks, I’ll call you” flashes the smile again and walks away.

Bisola is screaming so loud and for whatever reason it makes me more annoyed. I roll my eyes once more; please someone let us into this gaddamn concert hall.

Ten minutes after we are allowed into the hall, I get a phone call

“Hello”

“Hey it’s Shayo”

“Oh, hi. I didn’t think you’d call like now”

“Yea the show doesn’t start for another 45 minutes so maybe you can come to the back and we can just talk?”

“Ummm I don’t know about that.”

“Why not?” he sounds shocked

In my mind I’m thinking tis boy is just stupid, so he is who that when he tells me to come backstage I’ll just run

“I think I mentioned that I wasn’t a groupie so maybe I’ll see you later”

“Ohh’” he laughs softly “hmm Fife you’re an interesting person but sure I understand” he laughs “can I see you tomorrow?”

“We can talk about that later? You should be getting ready for this concert we have paid $40 each for”

He laughs really loud and says “Oh my, you are definitely an interesting woman but yes I will go rehearse one more time just cos you told me to”

That actually made me laugh because I found myself laughing at that. “Sure, I’ll talk to you later”

The concert went surprisingly well, I didn’t know all the songs so I couldn’t really sing along but most of the songs were actually great. After the concert, Bisola is like raving about the concert and this new guy whom she gave her number to.

“Hmm I can’t believe he asked you for your number, you owe me oh cos I’m the one who brought you to this party”

“Lol, but that’s if he calls. For all I know he’s probably here for just the weekend and is just hoping to have sex”

“That’s all you think all artists are about sha, sex sex sex. Stop it jo”

“Sure but you’ll see that I am right”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, I woke up to 3 missed calls, one voice message and 6 text messages.

The 3 missed calls were from my mother and obviously the voice message was from her.

Bisola: “Yo, wake up jo. Did he text or call yet?”

Bisola: “Dude why are you still sleeping?”

Bisola: “Better don’t be hiding jist from me sha. Call me when you wake up”

Dayo: “hey beautiful”

+1 (646) 455-6949: Hey, It’s Shayo. Would you like to meet up for breakfast?”

+1(646) 455-6949: Good morning btw J

Who to even reply first, I don’t want to call my mother sha because I have not mailed her the earrings she left last time she was here and she has been actively reminding me.

Dayo is my current guy toy. No need to respond yet.

Bisola “Hey, just waking up, I’ll call you to jist you as soon as there is any jist”

+1 (646) 455-6949: Hey breakfast sounds good?”

I jump in the shower while still texting and one thing leads to another we agree to do breakfast at this lunch café by my house.

As much as I have all these thoughts of how I will tell him to fuck off if he ever comes on to me, I still agree to breakfast to satisfy my curiosity. He picked me up by himself which was cool and breakfast was awesome because we just talked and talked and talked and talked some more. After breakfast we just walked since the weather was nice and went shopping together.

“Umm if I pick something out, you’re not going to offer to pay for it right?”

“Well I could but I know that would offend you so I’ll just stand on the side quietly while you pay”

“You’re so silly, but yea that sounds good”

We shopped and shopped and talked and talked and ended up spending so much time together that day that it spilled into a late lunch. We had lunch and he walked me home. He was leaving in 2 days after that so he wanted to hang out before then. I agreed.

“Really, you guys are hanging out again? Do you like him cos if not please abeg hook a sister up”

I had not really thought about if I liked him or not, I mean I just met the guy and we just hung out for the first time. I didn’t want to start overthinking anything that had transpired between us especially since he was only here for 2 more days.

“Nah, he seems like a nice guy but not interested. You should come to dinner tomorrow jare. He wants to hang out after work”

“Oh nice, I’ll come now. You’re sure I won’t be the third wheel?”

I start laughing “I’m sure with your big crush on him, if you guys get along ill end up being the third wheel”

“Ok oh, just text me the details”

Bisola came to dinner with us on Monday night and they hit it off, I mean she has this big crush on him so that obviously played a big role but it felt awesome knowing that he was beginning to feel her as well. Throughout the night, I started thinking, well maybe I do have a slight crush on him, I mean he’s a gentleman who has not let the celebrity status get to his head from the little I know of him. I should give him a chance.

“I take you Shayo as my lawfully wedded husband, to love and care for you as long as we both shall live. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. And forsaking all others to be faithful only to you as long as we both shall live”

BFF- Best Friends Forever.

“Babe why is Seyi here again?” I’m almost screaming. “I’m saying my own now oh and you’re not listening” Now I am shouting

“Sope, are really still jealous of Seyi, common now we’ve been married for 5 years”

“Dayo don’t play down my feelings, why should your single best friend be visiting at 10pm. What is it? Is she the first person to have a friend?”

Why is her shoe so loud on my marble floors, I thought to myself and roll my eyes as I hear her approaching.  “She should chill with all that mess” I say more subtlety as I head towards the bedroom. I don’t want to be a part of their discussion.

What kind of trouble have I gotten myself into for the love of God? Dayo has known Seyi since he was 17; they have been friends since then. According to both of them, nothing has ever happened between them, they have always been friend; no sexual relationship whatsoever, no feelings or anything like that so why does their so called friendship still give me chills and not the good ones. Even I don’t understand why I feel this way but I won’t let my mind wander to what they could be talking about.

“Sope” I quickly plug my earphones in when I hear him call my name. I don’t want to speak to him. I am so angry, he spent the last hour and half with her talking about God knows what. He should just go and sleep or something.

I feel him sit next to me on the bed and he removes the earphones from my ear and I pretend to yawn

“I know you’re not sleeping so stop pretending” he starts laughing

“Who’s laughing with you here” I say sarcastically and move over for him to sit properly.

“I’m sorry baby, she’s just going through a lot of things right now that’s why, I’m sorry ok? “ he looks at me questioningly. “Fine, just tell her that ehn she should know what time she comes here oh. This is not her father’s house and you are married or she should go and find another best friend that is single.”

“Hmm you and this your feistiness sha, you know I love only you now so don’t worry I’ll tell her.

I’m talking to myself as I cook up a storm for my husband. He’s gone out with his boys all day to golf and I know he usually comes home hungry. On days when he goes out all day, he makes it a point to spend the whole evening doing whatever I want to do, my oh so considerate husband. So today I am cooking his favorite meal; pounded yam, efo riro with assorted meat, panla, crabs, shrimps and all the other goodies he likes me to throw in there. I’ve baked cupcakes, brought out his wine he’s been saving for 6 months for a big celebration. Tonight will be special, I have great news.  I bought this sexy one piece from Victoria secret if you know what I mean. I’ve told all my friends not to call me for any emergency because I will be busy with my husband today.

I set the table, take a shower and use his favorite perfume just to get us in the mood. It’s almost 7:30pm and still no show.

“Dayo, where are you? I’ve been waiting at home for you now” I say into the phone.

“Babe I meant to call you, please don’t shout but Seyi was in an accident”

My soul is burning at this point, I don’t care what kind of accident she has gotten into, I just don’t. He better just be coming home now is all I want to hear.

“What happened to her?” is say nonchalantly

 “The guy she has been seeing for a couple of months beat her apparently, she’s hurt so badly but he won’t let her leave the house. So I want to go over there just to get him out of her house and drop her off at the hospital, Please don’t be upset”

“So he won’t let her leave but he let her phone a friend abi” I say in the most non caring sarcastic tone ever. What sort of rubbish is this though like does it even make sense that the man will hold her hostage in her own house. I can feel a fight brewing and I don’t want that, not tonight so I quickly add. “But I understand babe, you have to help your friend. Drop her off at the hospital and come straight home. I have to tell you something. I’ll be waiting ok?

“What is it? Tell me now”

“No. when you get home. I love you”

“Ok babe, thanks for not being upset. I love you too. See you soon.

4 hours have gone by, no phone call, no text, no responses to my text or phone calls. I am tired of all this nonsense. I wanted to tell him I was 4 months pregnant tonight. How can I be happy about sharing the news of this pregnancy when my husband’s attention is being split between me and his stupid best friend? I don’t know what to do, all I know is I am tired of this battle that no one else understands. To everyone else I am over reacting but I am honestly sick of it.

I hear noises downstairs and I look at the time, 6:30am. I get up hurriedly not because I am worried about the sound but because I hear Dayo’s voice and I am ready for a fight this morning. My anger is enough to tear down the wall of Jericho the second time. To make matters worse, as I walk into the living room, he has seyi and one of their other friends Gbenga with him. As I walk towards them I start to shout

“She better not be sitting down for long Dayo, I don’t care what the situation is or how complicated it is, I do not care to understand so you better not be getting ready to ask me for her to stay a couple of days because she can’t go home or anything like that. The answer is NO. Capital N-O!!!

I walk into the kitchen and pretend to make myself some breakfast. I pour some cereal into a bowl even though I am not hungry at all

“Can I talk to you please?”

“No you may not, I’ve said what I want to say” I shout so that the others can hear me. “If you wanted to talk to me you would have called me or texted me last night when I was worried about my husband” I start walking back to the room. “So go and talk to the people you were with all night that didn’t let you come home to your wife.” I slam the door in his face.

“That’s not necessary Sope, I’m sorry I didn’t call but my phone was dead and so much was happening. I’m sorry”

I completely ignore him and after 5 minutes of trying to talk to me and no response he leaves the room.

I’m crying underneath the blanket. How do I continue to love a man who I can’t say for a fact will always choose me regardless of the situation or am I being too difficult here?

On my quest for food

Please be sure to check out my food blog http://lecuriousculinarian.blogspot.com/

A trip to be remembered.

My dad and I have always been close, while I was in secondary school and even when I went to Yankee to continue my studies. I always made sure I called at least once or twice a week just so we could catch up, as lame as it sounds I could honestly say my dad could have been my best friend if he was female.  We were just 2 children and since my brother was my mum’s favorite child, I was happy I didn’t have to compete for my dad’s love. When I was 14, my mother left us, I didn’t know why and I never bothered asking why because I knew it involved another man. I didn’t mind, not like I liked having her in the house anyways. She didn’t cook or clean or do things other people’s mothers did for their children for me, just my brother occasionally. All she did was dress up in her expensive clothes, jewelry and geles, there was always a party to attend and places to be.

“Tola, are you listening to me?” I quickly snap out of my walk down memory lane

“Yes daddy, I arrive at 3:50 pm Lagos time, Is Uncle Tunde coming to pick me up?” I’m so excited to be visiting Nigeria again. My dad didn’t want me to visit the 3 years I’ve been in America because he wanted me to fully immerse myself in the culture. It didn’t make sense to me but it was my daddy so I didn’t ask any questions. “Tell aunty Kemi to come with him oh, I have missed her so much” I say remembering all the memories of my childhood with aunty Kemi. She was the house help my grandma found for us after my mum left to help in the house. She basically was a mother to my brother and I so she’s been the greatest addition to my family since my mother abandoned us.

“No, I am coming to the airport to pick up my daughter myself, I think I’ll even bring a horse to pick you up” he laughs, “ahn ahn daddy you want everyone to think I am some princess from Zamunda abi?” Coming to America was my dad and I’s favorite movie of all time.

“so what? You’re my own princess now well until you find someone to make you their queen” he says with a somewhat serious voice

“ehenn oh daddy don’t start this boyfriend talk jare, I even had jist for you but now you are not getting it” I try to sound serious.

“oya sorry now, jist you father” I could tell he was smiling now.

“abeg jare daddy, next time you won’t start this boyfriend talk”.  I’m laughing out loud now because I do this to him all the time. I don’t have any jist but I have to make him feel like I’m punishing him for bringing up this boyfriend issue again. I mean, It’s not that I don’t want to have a boyfriend, it’s just that I’m not ready for the BS that comes with it. The “all men cheat and you just have to stick with the one you have”, “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”, I’ve heard it all. What if I just wanted an actual angel, no devil at all so should I keep trying every angel there is out there till I find the one that remains an angel?

“Ehn I know when I see you tomorrow you will still jist me, I won’t beg you” he laughs

“Ok daddy, I have to go sleep now, long day tomorrow” I start fake yawning. “I’ll bb you when I am boarding my flight ok?”

“Ok I’ll be expecting your message, goodnight”

Goodnight daddy, love you”

“Love you too”

As I hang up the phone, I decide to finish packing all my things; I am so excited to be going to Nigeria tomorrow. I miss all my friends and family; my dad, granny, Uncle Shayo and my cousins. I’m in for a delightful trip and nothing is going to ruin my Christmas holiday.

I arrive at Murtala Mohammed airport and the wave of heat that sweeps me off my feet is nothing I should be writing about but boy am I glad to be in my country again. I quickly bribe the guys at the airport for a cart as it is done in naija, grab my luggage and head out into the streets of Lagos. Soon as I step out, I hear my dad scream my name. As much as I wanted to leave my luggage and run into his arms, you don’t do that here. You run with you luggage and trolley to whomever it is you’re trying to hug. On the drive home, we talk about everything, my trip, people I have to see, people I shouldn’t see, places to go, I am just so excited to be home. First things first, we grab some fresh off the charcoal grill suya on the way home.

I get home and things just feel weird, my brother doesn’t arrive from Atlanta for another 2 days so it’s just me, my dad, aunty Kemi the house help and uncle tunde the driver but things still felt awkward amongst the greetings and questions. We eat, laugh talk and have a good time but I can’t lay my hand on it. I went to sleep early, I was so tired from the trip that I couldn’t even bring myself to unpack anything.

I wake up at like 8pm to use the bathroom and because it’s not so late I hear my dad talking to Aunty Kemi. I assumed maybe he was telling her to make my favorite dish we had discussed earlier so I start walking towards them. “We have to tell her Bola”, what? Why is she calling my dad by his first name, what rubbish is this? I edge forward to hear more “I can’t be hiding my wedding band now”

Wedding band? My mind is running from left to right trying to understand what she’s talking about

My dad speaks next “Kemi, I totally understand, we can speak to her in the morning, I mean I couldn’t just sit her down after a 19 hour flight and break such news”. “I have been patient oh Bola, I don’t want any trouble” she says.

At this point I can take no more, “Tell me what” I could see the blood drain from both their faces. I really didn’t know if I was prepared to hear what they had to say but I needed to hear it because I didn’t know what it was they were hiding from me.

“Kemi and I are married”, my dad speaks first

“What?” “You’re kidding”, “You must be kidding” I scream

“Like married, married, husband and wife kind of married?” “Yes my dad says as he gets up and tries to hug me.

“Are you both mad, what nonsense news is this” I push him away.

“Don’t speak to us like that” aunty Kemi or should I say mummy Kemi says

“You shut up, common house girl, you think you’re married to my father” “Daddy I can’t believe you “ I turn to my father. “You both must be kidding, does Bolarinwa know? Does granny know? Does anyone know?”

“Yes everyone knows except you, I just wanted to tell you face to face” my dad says almost in tears but I don’t care.

“Ugh really, I’m the last to know, daddy how could you? We spoke at least twice every week for the past 3 years and I’m the last to know” I say out of frustration.

“I can’t believe this, I cannot believe this” I say as I am walking back and forth in the living room.

“I have to get out of here” I say loudly

“No Tola, you don’t have to do that” mummy Kemi says “You just got here, you’re not going anywhere”

“Please you’re not my mother; just because you fucked my father does not mean you’re now my mother”

“Tola shut up your mouth” daddy yells “you don’t get to talk to her like that”

“oh now you’re on her side, you’re on her SIDE” I am so upset at this point I know I have to get away from them. I run into the room, pick up my unpacked luggage and start walking out.

“Tola this is not necessary” I ignore my father

“Tola please I’ll leave for a while for you and your father to talk things through, please” Ignored

“No Kemi you’re not going anywhere” he says to her and embraces her. I get angrier.

I ignore them both and haul my 2 heavy luggages out the gate to hail a cab. I find one within seconds get in without a destination in mind. I just knew I had to get away from there.

How do I deal with the fact that my father is now married to our house help?

For the Love of Ice-Cream

“Stop snoring jo”, I playfully jab Leke in his stomach. He grabs me my two arms and lays gentle kisses on my lips. “Let’s see how much jabbing you can do now that I have turned your knees to jelly” I squirm and find my way out of his embrace.

“Get up, I don’t want to be late for church” even though I really just want to lay in bed all day with my husband.

“Come here and kiss your husband good morning”, he pulls me back into bed.

The thing is we know what kissing leads to, every Sunday it’s the same. No wonder everyone at church says I’m glowing when they see me every morning. I’m still in the orgasmic mood, all giggly and easily tickled hence the glow.

“No Leke” I giggle and he starts laughing “Why are you like this Banke, I just want to kiss you now”

“Ok, one kiss, nothing else” as I climb back into bed, give him a kiss and run off to get the kids ready.

When I return to the room, he’s in the shower and boy do I just want to climb into the shower with him?

How did I get so lucky? How? How was I blessed with this intelligent and sexy man who loves me more than the stars?

Leke and I met through his cousin who was sort of like a school mentor for me. I was fresh off the boat from naija and Bola was kind enough to show me the ropes and how things worked. She had lived in America for a year and half so it was still a learning experience for both of us. We had been friends for about 2 years when we both went back home for the Christmas holiday. I had spoken to her parents over the phone since we were now roommates. I went by her house to greet her parents since she had stopped by mine the day before.

“My parents are on their way back from my aunt’s house so let’s go and get Suya before they get back”

I quickly get excited “The famous suya joint by your house? Will they be open now, it’s only 4pm oh” as disappointment sweeps my face because most suya joints don’t start grilling till evening.

“No oh” Bola picks up her wallet and drags me out of the living room. “This guy is so popular in this area that he stays open all day most days”, sha let’s go before he would have run out of the shaki area that I love”

We get back home and her parents are home already and we exchange pleasantries. I didn’t meet Leke that day but the weekend after when I was invited to the house once again. He was around with his parents who came to visit Bola’s parents. I’m assuming once they started their adult conversations, he came and found Bola and that’s how we got introduced. At first, I was just like ok, another cute guy in Lagos, there are too many of them here for me to be overly flustered

“Hey what are you guys doing, these people are going to be talking forever, let’s go get shawarma or something”

“I’m definitely down for that”, bola was already on her feet, packing up her purse.

“What about you Banke? Coming with us abi you don’t eat shawarma?

After all this while, not realizing I hadn’t spoken a word to him since I said hi and that I was holding my breath. “Who in their right mind doesn’t eat shawarma? I’ll come with my driver though so I’ll just go home after that”

That’s how it began, we ended up staying out for about 6 hours, had to ask my driver to go home since Leke had offered to drop me off. I couldn’t imagine what their parents had to talk about for that long but it was such a fun day. I got home that night knowing that this man had stolen my heart.

“Banke your lipstick is fine, let us go” he peeps into the bathroom looking very sexy in his suit.

“Ok I’m coming, get Ayo and Teni into the car and I will be down in 3 minutes, I promise.” I smile because he knows my three minutes is more like 10.

“Ok 3 minutes or I will make you chase the car before you get in”

I just ignore him because I know he will do exactly just that.

Church service was beautiful, but what was even more beautiful was the couple’s fellowship.  It’s like the word was specifically tailored to meet me at my place of need. I’ve always known how I wanted to raise my children so it’s been somewhat of a fight when Leke does something that doesn’t really fit into my plan. What they eat, what school they attended, what they wore, what they watched on TV. I sometimes forget that he is half their parent as well. Leke was more lenient with them, allowing them to watch all these cartoons that probably reduced their IQ and giving them money for sugary treats especially this one ice cream man outside of our church. Ayo especially has made it a tradition to always buy ice-cream behind my back every Sunday after church. Only God knows how much of our money that man has collected all in the name of Ice-cream.  Patience with your spouse and trust them not to do anything purposely to hurt you.

“Mr. and Mrs. Adebayo, please come out quickly. Ayo was just hit by an Okada”

I don’t remember what happened next, I just remember being outside on the floor, holding on to my almost lifeless son while the driver pulls up the car. My husband is crying and chanting “I shouldn’t have given him money for ice-cream.”