On my quest for food

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A trip to be remembered.

My dad and I have always been close, while I was in secondary school and even when I went to Yankee to continue my studies. I always made sure I called at least once or twice a week just so we could catch up, as lame as it sounds I could honestly say my dad could have been my best friend if he was female.  We were just 2 children and since my brother was my mum’s favorite child, I was happy I didn’t have to compete for my dad’s love. When I was 14, my mother left us, I didn’t know why and I never bothered asking why because I knew it involved another man. I didn’t mind, not like I liked having her in the house anyways. She didn’t cook or clean or do things other people’s mothers did for their children for me, just my brother occasionally. All she did was dress up in her expensive clothes, jewelry and geles, there was always a party to attend and places to be.

“Tola, are you listening to me?” I quickly snap out of my walk down memory lane

“Yes daddy, I arrive at 3:50 pm Lagos time, Is Uncle Tunde coming to pick me up?” I’m so excited to be visiting Nigeria again. My dad didn’t want me to visit the 3 years I’ve been in America because he wanted me to fully immerse myself in the culture. It didn’t make sense to me but it was my daddy so I didn’t ask any questions. “Tell aunty Kemi to come with him oh, I have missed her so much” I say remembering all the memories of my childhood with aunty Kemi. She was the house help my grandma found for us after my mum left to help in the house. She basically was a mother to my brother and I so she’s been the greatest addition to my family since my mother abandoned us.

“No, I am coming to the airport to pick up my daughter myself, I think I’ll even bring a horse to pick you up” he laughs, “ahn ahn daddy you want everyone to think I am some princess from Zamunda abi?” Coming to America was my dad and I’s favorite movie of all time.

“so what? You’re my own princess now well until you find someone to make you their queen” he says with a somewhat serious voice

“ehenn oh daddy don’t start this boyfriend talk jare, I even had jist for you but now you are not getting it” I try to sound serious.

“oya sorry now, jist you father” I could tell he was smiling now.

“abeg jare daddy, next time you won’t start this boyfriend talk”.  I’m laughing out loud now because I do this to him all the time. I don’t have any jist but I have to make him feel like I’m punishing him for bringing up this boyfriend issue again. I mean, It’s not that I don’t want to have a boyfriend, it’s just that I’m not ready for the BS that comes with it. The “all men cheat and you just have to stick with the one you have”, “the devil you know is better than the angel you don’t know”, I’ve heard it all. What if I just wanted an actual angel, no devil at all so should I keep trying every angel there is out there till I find the one that remains an angel?

“Ehn I know when I see you tomorrow you will still jist me, I won’t beg you” he laughs

“Ok daddy, I have to go sleep now, long day tomorrow” I start fake yawning. “I’ll bb you when I am boarding my flight ok?”

“Ok I’ll be expecting your message, goodnight”

Goodnight daddy, love you”

“Love you too”

As I hang up the phone, I decide to finish packing all my things; I am so excited to be going to Nigeria tomorrow. I miss all my friends and family; my dad, granny, Uncle Shayo and my cousins. I’m in for a delightful trip and nothing is going to ruin my Christmas holiday.

I arrive at Murtala Mohammed airport and the wave of heat that sweeps me off my feet is nothing I should be writing about but boy am I glad to be in my country again. I quickly bribe the guys at the airport for a cart as it is done in naija, grab my luggage and head out into the streets of Lagos. Soon as I step out, I hear my dad scream my name. As much as I wanted to leave my luggage and run into his arms, you don’t do that here. You run with you luggage and trolley to whomever it is you’re trying to hug. On the drive home, we talk about everything, my trip, people I have to see, people I shouldn’t see, places to go, I am just so excited to be home. First things first, we grab some fresh off the charcoal grill suya on the way home.

I get home and things just feel weird, my brother doesn’t arrive from Atlanta for another 2 days so it’s just me, my dad, aunty Kemi the house help and uncle tunde the driver but things still felt awkward amongst the greetings and questions. We eat, laugh talk and have a good time but I can’t lay my hand on it. I went to sleep early, I was so tired from the trip that I couldn’t even bring myself to unpack anything.

I wake up at like 8pm to use the bathroom and because it’s not so late I hear my dad talking to Aunty Kemi. I assumed maybe he was telling her to make my favorite dish we had discussed earlier so I start walking towards them. “We have to tell her Bola”, what? Why is she calling my dad by his first name, what rubbish is this? I edge forward to hear more “I can’t be hiding my wedding band now”

Wedding band? My mind is running from left to right trying to understand what she’s talking about

My dad speaks next “Kemi, I totally understand, we can speak to her in the morning, I mean I couldn’t just sit her down after a 19 hour flight and break such news”. “I have been patient oh Bola, I don’t want any trouble” she says.

At this point I can take no more, “Tell me what” I could see the blood drain from both their faces. I really didn’t know if I was prepared to hear what they had to say but I needed to hear it because I didn’t know what it was they were hiding from me.

“Kemi and I are married”, my dad speaks first

“What?” “You’re kidding”, “You must be kidding” I scream

“Like married, married, husband and wife kind of married?” “Yes my dad says as he gets up and tries to hug me.

“Are you both mad, what nonsense news is this” I push him away.

“Don’t speak to us like that” aunty Kemi or should I say mummy Kemi says

“You shut up, common house girl, you think you’re married to my father” “Daddy I can’t believe you “ I turn to my father. “You both must be kidding, does Bolarinwa know? Does granny know? Does anyone know?”

“Yes everyone knows except you, I just wanted to tell you face to face” my dad says almost in tears but I don’t care.

“Ugh really, I’m the last to know, daddy how could you? We spoke at least twice every week for the past 3 years and I’m the last to know” I say out of frustration.

“I can’t believe this, I cannot believe this” I say as I am walking back and forth in the living room.

“I have to get out of here” I say loudly

“No Tola, you don’t have to do that” mummy Kemi says “You just got here, you’re not going anywhere”

“Please you’re not my mother; just because you fucked my father does not mean you’re now my mother”

“Tola shut up your mouth” daddy yells “you don’t get to talk to her like that”

“oh now you’re on her side, you’re on her SIDE” I am so upset at this point I know I have to get away from them. I run into the room, pick up my unpacked luggage and start walking out.

“Tola this is not necessary” I ignore my father

“Tola please I’ll leave for a while for you and your father to talk things through, please” Ignored

“No Kemi you’re not going anywhere” he says to her and embraces her. I get angrier.

I ignore them both and haul my 2 heavy luggages out the gate to hail a cab. I find one within seconds get in without a destination in mind. I just knew I had to get away from there.

How do I deal with the fact that my father is now married to our house help?

For the Love of Ice-Cream

“Stop snoring jo”, I playfully jab Leke in his stomach. He grabs me my two arms and lays gentle kisses on my lips. “Let’s see how much jabbing you can do now that I have turned your knees to jelly” I squirm and find my way out of his embrace.

“Get up, I don’t want to be late for church” even though I really just want to lay in bed all day with my husband.

“Come here and kiss your husband good morning”, he pulls me back into bed.

The thing is we know what kissing leads to, every Sunday it’s the same. No wonder everyone at church says I’m glowing when they see me every morning. I’m still in the orgasmic mood, all giggly and easily tickled hence the glow.

“No Leke” I giggle and he starts laughing “Why are you like this Banke, I just want to kiss you now”

“Ok, one kiss, nothing else” as I climb back into bed, give him a kiss and run off to get the kids ready.

When I return to the room, he’s in the shower and boy do I just want to climb into the shower with him?

How did I get so lucky? How? How was I blessed with this intelligent and sexy man who loves me more than the stars?

Leke and I met through his cousin who was sort of like a school mentor for me. I was fresh off the boat from naija and Bola was kind enough to show me the ropes and how things worked. She had lived in America for a year and half so it was still a learning experience for both of us. We had been friends for about 2 years when we both went back home for the Christmas holiday. I had spoken to her parents over the phone since we were now roommates. I went by her house to greet her parents since she had stopped by mine the day before.

“My parents are on their way back from my aunt’s house so let’s go and get Suya before they get back”

I quickly get excited “The famous suya joint by your house? Will they be open now, it’s only 4pm oh” as disappointment sweeps my face because most suya joints don’t start grilling till evening.

“No oh” Bola picks up her wallet and drags me out of the living room. “This guy is so popular in this area that he stays open all day most days”, sha let’s go before he would have run out of the shaki area that I love”

We get back home and her parents are home already and we exchange pleasantries. I didn’t meet Leke that day but the weekend after when I was invited to the house once again. He was around with his parents who came to visit Bola’s parents. I’m assuming once they started their adult conversations, he came and found Bola and that’s how we got introduced. At first, I was just like ok, another cute guy in Lagos, there are too many of them here for me to be overly flustered

“Hey what are you guys doing, these people are going to be talking forever, let’s go get shawarma or something”

“I’m definitely down for that”, bola was already on her feet, packing up her purse.

“What about you Banke? Coming with us abi you don’t eat shawarma?

After all this while, not realizing I hadn’t spoken a word to him since I said hi and that I was holding my breath. “Who in their right mind doesn’t eat shawarma? I’ll come with my driver though so I’ll just go home after that”

That’s how it began, we ended up staying out for about 6 hours, had to ask my driver to go home since Leke had offered to drop me off. I couldn’t imagine what their parents had to talk about for that long but it was such a fun day. I got home that night knowing that this man had stolen my heart.

“Banke your lipstick is fine, let us go” he peeps into the bathroom looking very sexy in his suit.

“Ok I’m coming, get Ayo and Teni into the car and I will be down in 3 minutes, I promise.” I smile because he knows my three minutes is more like 10.

“Ok 3 minutes or I will make you chase the car before you get in”

I just ignore him because I know he will do exactly just that.

Church service was beautiful, but what was even more beautiful was the couple’s fellowship.  It’s like the word was specifically tailored to meet me at my place of need. I’ve always known how I wanted to raise my children so it’s been somewhat of a fight when Leke does something that doesn’t really fit into my plan. What they eat, what school they attended, what they wore, what they watched on TV. I sometimes forget that he is half their parent as well. Leke was more lenient with them, allowing them to watch all these cartoons that probably reduced their IQ and giving them money for sugary treats especially this one ice cream man outside of our church. Ayo especially has made it a tradition to always buy ice-cream behind my back every Sunday after church. Only God knows how much of our money that man has collected all in the name of Ice-cream.  Patience with your spouse and trust them not to do anything purposely to hurt you.

“Mr. and Mrs. Adebayo, please come out quickly. Ayo was just hit by an Okada”

I don’t remember what happened next, I just remember being outside on the floor, holding on to my almost lifeless son while the driver pulls up the car. My husband is crying and chanting “I shouldn’t have given him money for ice-cream.”