Cinderella, Cinderella, All I hear is Cinderella!

So I believe everyone has watched or heard of the Cinderella story, if you haven’t I’d have to question your childhood but that’s another story for another day.  Anyways I believe most women, including me, have dreamt about prince charming coming to sweep them off their feet right? I mean it sounds oh so romantic and yes prince charming ideally should look like Ryan Gosling, 6”2 with 4 packs minimum, perfect teeth or whatever your preference is. You’d be surprised how everyone’s preference is different, I am sure someone is reading this with a stank face thinking Ryan Gosling is not even fine but to each his own. But did anyone notice that prince charming was also VERY rich whereby Cinderella didn’t have to work another day in her life? Lol how funny is that right? But apparently some women still have this mentality. Well not exactly the same thing but what do you call a woman who might be earning 10 dollars and hour but is actively looking for a guy with a corporate job, earning nothing less than $90,000 a year even though her full time salary doesn’t even put her in the above $20,000 tax bracket. The list doesn’t end there oh, he must live in a certain part of town, drive some sort of car, 2009 and above of course, I mean the list goes on.

The bible says in Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the LORD.” So whatever happened to being that good thing or rather person instead of being a burden? And I use wife here because I sure hope if you’re dating someone, it’s because you expect a long term commitment from them which in my mind equals marriage. Let’s even forget about the financials for a second, how do you want a guy who has a 6 pack when the last time you went to the gym was that one time your friend dragged you and you don’t even remember what year that was. I’m not even going to front and say I didn’t think like that, and I am a college student who’s not currently working so I think I’m even worse off.

Someone said this to me earlier this year... Be the person you want to be with... Be just as successful, be just as hardworking, driven, you want a guy with a six pack, get your butt in the gym. You want someone who sticks up for you no matter what, then don’t be the woman who embarrasses him all the time. You want someone who’ll open car doors, take out the trash, change your tire then cook. You want someone who you can engage in intellectual conversations, then read current news not mediatakeout only, entertainment news is not the only type of news there is.  I mean whatever is important for you to have in your partner then you should at LEAST be those things.

Just a random thought I wanted to share.

J

Who's fronting here?

Yipeee I turned 23, October 30, this past Sunday and boy am I happy. The changes in my life from just 22 to 23 have been amazing. I am older, wiser and definitely better. I don't even feel older, I am still young at heart. :p

The only problem is, as I saw 23 as a great thing, most people saw it as an opportunity to lecture me on the importance of settling down and how I'm getting older. What?? Like please when did 23 become the age to start putting pressure on someone to marry? I thought 26 was the cut off age. I'm thinking to myself what the heck are you talking about. Even if I was 26, you're not my close friend, not necessarily a person who should be advising me on anything, you're just a person who our conversations are limited to twice a year, on my birthday and yours, so what right do you have to be asking me personal questions and demanding answers. Someone even told me that I should have been in a one year relationship now, so by 24 he would propose and by 25 I would be married. Like where do these people get these stupendous theories from? who comes up with them? I have been keeping my calm and trying to be as respectful as possible, sometimes even just play it off like its funny but really, it is very annoying. 

I have come to realize that its hard to explain to most people that you're not in a place where you're ready to be in a relationship. It's like a blasphemy of some sort, like as a woman you're supposed to jump at every relationship opportunity presented to you because you don't want to be 23 and single. I mean what is wrong with NOT wanting a boyfriend? It's not just the time for me or is that such a bad reason or i'm not being reasonable about it? It's not because I have too high standards, it's not because i'm playing hard to get, it's not  because I have horror stories of my heart been crushed, damaged and destroyed by many men, the only reason is that I am just not ready for a relationship. I mean yes, a few guys have done some horrible things directly to me and even other people's experiences are crazy to think about but still doesn't mean I have completely put off the idea of falling in love and finding that one person to share my life with but for now I just don't want to have to deal with it. Can I enjoy my single unattached life and concentrate on myself without having to worry about some guy. Since when did that become a crime. Do most people not realize that a relationship takes a certain level of maturity, understanding and commitment? You have to be mentally prepared to share your life with someone. You become accountable to someone and you have to incorporate this person into your life.

I started thinking maybe its also because I am not ready for the type of relationship I want. I am not trying to get into some shallow relationship because the guy is cute and has a nice car so lets see where it leads. Don't I have a car abi am I not cute too? abeg all those things are good but it goes deeper than that. I don't want to enter a relationship just because and then realize after a yr that it was a bad idea and I would have wasted an entire yr of my life to no avail. 

As if my family asking me all these questions is not enough, some guys have come to the conclusion that it's a fronting strategy or that I am playing "harder" to get because I think it makes guys want me more.. Like what kind of silly analysis is that? Are you a retard? Firstly I am already wanted, very wanted. Add the fact that I am now a very saved christian, many guys who are ready to settle down think I am wifey material so getting a guy is not the problem, I certainly have a few options to consider if I did want to be in a relationship but as I don't want, how is it every ones personal problem to analyze my reasons or motives. 

People just need to learn to mind their business, if its not removing money from your bank account or killing you please keep your mouth shut and move on. Even when I get into a relationship, trust me if you're not important you wont know so why make it your headache when it is not your business.. 

I shall not be discussing this further with anyone so hopefully most people got the message. :)

Stay blessed.